I had my 5th treatment on Monday and have been in bed all week. The first week is always the toughest having only sufficient energy to go to the bathroom and at a push the kitchen. I’m hoping that by Sunday I’ll be able to sit in the lounge room for a while.
I am so grateful for the very special friends and cousins that have been taking care of me throughout this time. No words can do justice to the gratitude and appreciation I have for the kind caring and thoughtful acts they continuously do for me.
The feelings of extreme fatigue, nausea and discomfort keep coming in waves and when they do I try as much as possible to keep my awareness on where I am and what is happening at that precise moment.
My actions are very limited so my present moments are very simple. For example looking out of my window, talking on the telephone or eating something are few to mention. When I have my full attention on being present to that which is present I become immersed in the moment and the physical discomfort becomes far less pronounced to the extent that sometimes it actually disappears.
As soon as my mind gets distracted from “what is”, I get lured back into thinking about my predicament and allow the power of the physical experience to take over once again.
I find it difficult sometimes and tend to go back and forth in out of being present. It sounds so simple and yet it’s not easy to apply.
However the more I experience being in the moment the more I realize how powerful it is as an antidote for stress, pain, anxiety or anything that keeps me awake at night.
Hilary Shill said:
You are such an inspirational & courageous beautiful man ~ thank you for sharing your journey with us precious Mei ~ PG this treatment will be over soon & you will begin the repairing & restoring of your body & soul.
Lots of love & xxx Hil
Charmaine van der Merwe said:
Hi Meiron, Hang in there and keep up the positive energy, your blog is an inspiration to many.
Sender Lees said:
Hi Meironi,
We are really very proud of you being so brave and for being such an amazing inspiration to us and to so many people. We all pray for you and are confidant that you will make a complete recovery, we miss being with you and you are continually in our thoughts Lots of love Mom & Dad
Etienne Kaplan said:
Dear Meiron
Aubrey and I are thinking of you and wish you courage to see you through the rest of your treatment and a very speedy recovery.
Much love. Etienne
Lisa Kramer said:
Hi Mei
I happened to pick up the ‘Lamplighter” Leaflet in Shul last night and as I was reading through it, the parallels of yourself and what I was reading was incredible.
The article I was reading related to Abraham and the fact that, ‘he did not merely pass through life, racking up the years. His years were made up of much smaller units of time-days. He had a sensitivity to the significance of each moment and succeeded in actualizing whatever unique opportunities presented themselves’.
I immediately thought of you and how every lucid moment is so vital to you, how you use the little energy you have productively and how it has become something you cherish daily.
There are some who push through life just trying to get from one day to the next. There are others who say that every moment is to be savoured, not just endured.
Mei, having shared many hours with you and numerous discussions, your attitude has surpassed both of these. You, as did Abraham see every moment as something to be put to use. You have made us all aware of just how precious our energy is. As the article so aptly states, “even the smallest unit of time is a distinct creation never to be replicated again. Today’s work is not tomorrow’s.”
I am continually “blown away” by your positive attitude and outlook. You, who have been through so much and yet still take the limited time, effort and energy you have to share your journey with us. We have all gained so much through you.
You have taught and inspired us so much and we are all so privileged to have a friend like you.
I am so grateful for all that you do for me – particularly your sound advice.
You truly are an incredible man.
Love
Your bestie, Lisa xx
Ian & Charlotte Spitz said:
Five down and one to go. Hang in there. Bright clouds are just aound the corner.
Keep on being an inspiration to yourself. Soon, you will use it to inspire others.
Fond regards,
Ian & Charlotte Spitz
Terri said:
Lise, all I can say is ditto…
Meisy, as I said to you today, you may have little physical energy, yet the overwhelming beautiful sense of energy you bring me just being in your presence is something I won’t even try and put into words, and will always feel priviileged to be a part of. It’s been there since the day we first met when I hadn’t yet at that time even understood entirely what ‘energy’ even was, but certainly felt it regardless.Now it just becomes stronger no matter how weak you may be feeling inside. Since that very first day, you have taught me so much, made my life all the more richer, and your spirit and mind if mutated would make the world a pretty amazing place!
I like Lisa, adore reading your journal entries, and if we can all be as open and honest in our thoughts and feelings, then it certainly brings a deeper understanding of one another.
You inspire me every single day and make me live my life more fully, and the decisions I make become less complex.
And yes you are better than George Clooney anyday Mr Nespresso!
Love and laughter always
x Te
Josie said:
Meiron, I too found mindfulness and living as consciously as possible in each moment assisted my journeys with cancer and treatments. Focusing on the future and what I wanted to create in my life also aided my capacity to choose my focus and my attitude (as you are) as I took each step forward. Best wishes my friend, Josie
Hayley Sachs said:
Hi Meiron
I hope that by today you are feeling much better and stronger.
We have always learnt that H-shem does not give us any suffering that we cannot handle. So many of us however rather crumble instead of trying to find that strength within us to overcome our suffering and come out stronger. It is always inspirational and somewhat of a comfort to see you find your strength, as well as allowing yourself those moments of pain (as I do believe every fighter needs a timeout in order to come out fighting stronger). Meiron you speak about friends and family who have been taking care of you. I think it shows what kind of man you are – as it is always easy to find people to “party” with, but those people arent always around for the difficult times. Obviously you have cultivated relationships where people are happy to do both with you. I am sure that it is a great comfort for your parents to know that you have such wonderful support.
I wish you a speedy recovery. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hayley
eli said:
wishing you all the strenght possible on your journey to recovery,
love from eli, mai and the kids