It’s been nearly 7 weeks since my final treatment and my body has shown great improvement. My hair is growing at a rapid rate and I’m feeling better than I did in the months preceding the diagnosis. My energy is getting stronger. I am now able to be active for about 3 hours until I need to rest. The tingling in my finger tips remain.
I still marvel at the fact that I can drive, go for a coffee and just do normal things again. I feel a sense of newness and I’m acutely aware of my surroundings which escaped my full attention previously. Noticing the colours of nature, the expressions on faces and the subtleties in an interaction make my experiences fulfilling.
I have the final PET scan on the 31st January 2012. This is the scan that will show unequivocally whether the cancer has been healed or not. Whilst I’m not anxious or fearful I’m feeling quite emotional about it. This event feels like a pivotal moment in which either I will be given the right of passage back to normal life or a path to a totally different experience. It feels like the totality of my suffering over the past 8 months is being put to the test.
When I think about the scan a well of emotional arises despite my confidence of a positive outcome. I think I failed to recognise the depth of the subconscious plays of emotion that has been a quiet undercurrent hum of intensity throughout this time.
I am trusting however that the result will show an “all clear” as I hold the belief that one must first have an expectation of positivity before the evidence of it is revealed. I have aligned my thoughts and visualisations to good health and in doing so I give myself a better chance of making it a reality.
The important thing is that I feel good and my heart is full of love and joy.
I look forward to sharing great news in the next post.